Every Number One Ever
A comedy podcast for pop music historians. Join us as we keep or bin every UK number one!
Podcast Description
A comedy podcast for pop music historians. Join us as we keep or bin every UK number one!
Episodes
Sep 22, 2025
Episode 147 - The Hawaiian Touch
Sep 22, 2025
Sep 22, 2025
1hr 11 min
Let's shed all pretence of this being anything other than glib marketing. For some reason, episode 145 spiked with listeners. In this description I mentioned kung fu, ancient wisdom, craft (maybe its a beer thing), being nobs, and the title mentioned love eggs. I wonder if we'll get another massive spike (ooo er missus) if I put the same words in again. Have we discovered some magic formula? That being said, with only 100 or so tracks to go do we actually want any new listeners?!
Sep 29, 2025
Episode 148 - Roboncé
Sep 29, 2025
Sep 29, 2025
1hr 16 min
Less than 15 episodes to go, we'll be done by xmas. Will you miss us? Will you be as thankful as we are to get to the very end of the grand project?
Some of these songs are getting OLD now. Number 3 is like getting punched in the face with a vodka redbull. No. Thank. You.
Just keep swimming. We'll get to shore soon enough.
Oct 5, 2025
Episode 149 - J.D.D.D (Jim Dale Deep Dive)
Oct 5, 2025
Oct 5, 2025
1hr 23 min
This weeks the staff at ENOE Towers dredge through another 9 pieces of random nonsense from pop history, they deal with awful humans, and Liam mentions morse code fists (but never explains it). Plus we fall in love with Jim Dale and most particularly Jim Dale's best fans.
Oct 13, 2025
Episode 150 - The Hangover Part IV
Oct 13, 2025
Oct 13, 2025
1hr 19 min
A bumper episode this week, recorded in person no less! This is why you shouldn't get us all together very often; we just rant and rant! The most important thing this week? I could spoil it, but I shan't... but there's gonna be an announcement... soon my darlings...
Oct 20, 2025
Episode 151 - Vladimir Lennon
Oct 20, 2025
Oct 20, 2025
1hr 18 min
As this train trundles to the end of the line we appear to be picking up speed. Thats probably because loads of the bulkheads have fallen off, the windows are all smashed, and the electrics are totally shot. But part of that means we go on long circular rants like this, all for your amusement. OKLOVEYOUBYE!
Oct 27, 2025
Episode 152 - Children Are Stupid
Oct 27, 2025
Oct 27, 2025
1hr 13 min
In these troubled times let these descriptions be a lighthouse, a beacon, a big... thing I suppose, that can always be relied on to be entirely irrelevant and irreverent. WILLIES! There's also a podcast you can listen to as well as read this. Its episode 152 - come on, get on with it. Not many left now!
Nov 3, 2025
Episode 153 - Back In The Bath
Nov 3, 2025
Nov 3, 2025
1hr 11 min
A century and a half into the great project and you think we'd have the measure of one another by now. Yet we can still surprise one another. Craig comes out of left field with a wild opinion, Liam hates something but votes for us, and Matt (just like quasimodo) can't stand the bells.
Nov 10, 2025
Episode 154 - Schlâger Höle
Nov 10, 2025
Nov 10, 2025
1hr 8 min
SEX! Yes, lets see if we type that into the episode description if we get a bump in numbers. Also the episode title mentions holes and looks a bit german so... you know.
Nov 17, 2025
Episode 155 - Its My Only Bell!
Nov 17, 2025
Nov 17, 2025
1hr 3 min
I would use the word "slop" if it wasn't so tied to AI. Alas, everything in this show was crafted by human hands and displays all the infinite gradations of fallibility that we poor flesh and blood mortals display on the daily. SLOP I SAY! If only it were more simple, more pure, more and wasn't reliant on taking such chances...
Nov 24, 2025
Episode 156 - Bumming Windy Miller
Nov 24, 2025
Nov 24, 2025
1hr 17 min
Huge apologies to all of those of Trumptonshireites who hold ol' Windy in high regard. But he is a hungry bottom and you all know it. I think this is supposed to be a music podcast but we're so far from the beaten track now that its taken on a mind of its own. Not many episodes to go!

Welcome to Every Number One Ever!
A revisionist history of pop music and culture from 1952 to now.
Over the next three years, friends and DAA stalwarts Matthew Leonard, Craig Lowe, and Liam Maloney are pruning the UK pop charts from day dot to now. Randomly selected number ones fired at them and either banished to the bin for all eternity or raised to the hallowed pantheon of pop after discussion, argument and general nonsense.
The discarded songs will be expunged from history and in their stead shall be one randomly selected number two single. Will it be Penny Lane, God Only Knows, Jean Genie? Or the Dexys Midnight Runner's parody 'Come On England'? Only fate and a random spreadsheet function can know for sure!
So join us on our odyssey into pop as we try to correct some historical musical maladies and revitalise the once glittering UK pop chart.



